One moment the water is calm and the next moment I am swept away faster practically faster than I could react.
That’s what it was like for hours when I was surfing in Panama over the holiday.
The wave comes with a force that is beyond one’s control. It surrounds you and sweeps you into its current. You must deal with it.
It’s the same when you are in a situation that is acutely stressful (like my new client who’s business partner started to push her out of the business).
Or a situation which is chronically frustrating (like a boss who won’t support your promotion or a relationship mate who is always ‘all about them’ and makes you feel bad about yourself).
In these situations, you feel like your life is being affected by the force of someone else’s ‘stuff’. You feel thwarted, you spin and obsess about it… but you are still subject to their forces.
On a surfboard, as in life, when a wave surrounds you, you have choices.
You can be overcome and hold on in fear. That will keep your head looking down at the board and hands gripping the sides in hope. What happens next? That’s right, you’ll nose dive into the wave!
You’ll get tossed around, and lose your sense of who you are and where you’re going. You’ll end up with an outcome you didn’t want AND suffer in the process.
Or you can maximize what you can control: lift your chest up, redistribute your weight, and ride the wave with a thrill.
That’s what it means to be ‘in your power’.
Most of the situations that created stress and drained your energy in 2018 were perpetuated because you were not ‘in your power’.
A lot of people are going to have a 2019 . . . that’s 2018 all over again.
So the most important question to ask yourself starting now is:
“What am I going to do differently in 2019 to make THIS year the year I live up to my potential and break through to my exciting next level?”
Because the truth is, the only path that’s going to get you to that highly paid position where you have significant impact is YOU knowing how to be IN YOUR POWER.
You want to make it a practice to find your power. You can do a simple Power Analysis: “Where’s my power in this situation?”
You are in your power when you can take actions that get you the outcome you want. If you have been passed over for a promotion or aren’t getting the support you need to advance you are not in your power.
For example, a new client felt burned by a boss who wasn’t advocating for her and conflicted between loving her job but not getting what she feels she deserves. She hired me to help her get her desired promotion and raise.
Within our first session, we identified where she could be ‘in her power’ and this seemingly stuck situation suddenly had many solutions. One solution came from creating a stakeholder map and looking beyond relationships with her frustrating bosses. We realized there is a very senior woman in her group who could serve as advocate and Sponsor for her. We put in place an initiative to connect and involve this senior woman. Within 2 weeks, they are in ongoing conversation and my client has new visibility over her situation (and a Sponsor on the way). If I were a betting gal, I’d give it 3 months until she has her promotion and raise!
Similarly if you are in a business partnership or a personal relationship where you lack the confidence to feel good about yourself inside, you are not in your power.
For example, my (high achieving) client had a boyfriend who was ‘all about him’ and put her down. When she came to me, she didn’t have a voice and she couldn’t seem to get out of it.
Where was her power? Yes, she could set boundaries, Boundaries are being in your power because they are not meant to change others’ behavior, they are meant to protect you.
But he was so relentless it was hard to enforce them.
So where was her ULTIMATE POWER? She was staying in the relationship because she believed SHE needed HIS validation in order to feel beautiful. She gave away her power, thinking that it was what he said to her that determined her beauty.
Once we did my Magic Bullet Exercise she got unblocked and connected to a newfound love for herself. With this deep knowing of her own worth, she no longer looked to him in order to feel loveable. Then she didn’t need to stay in the hurtful dynamic in the hopes she could get him to love her. She was free of suffering and is playing bigger in the world.
Do you want to find where your power is in a situation where you are stuck, and spinning, and playing small?
If so, I’m opening my schedule for 5 people to have a ‘Power Analysis’ Strategy Session. We will help you get unstuck and find your power so you can influence others and have the confidence to increase income and impact. Simply click here to make an appointment for our consultation.
Make 2019 the year you stop spinning, you stop playing small, and you finally step into your power. Then, and only then, will you make 2019 the year you reach your exciting next level.
Happy New Year!
P.S. Thanks for asking, yes surfing was a blast until I got stung by a stingray